PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

The Early Days

Suddenly It Hit Me...

I had read every article I could get my hands on concerning twins - I had even contacted TAMBA and despite having been warned and having read that it was relatively common for twins to arrive early, I really was convinced that that wouldn't happen to me!!

I was enjoying a very healthy, trouble free pregnancy.   I was doing all I was told to - plenty of rest, good diet etc. etc.   I know I was rather large and ponderous and wondering how I was going to get about at 38 weeks but apart from that I had no worries.   I was 'sort of' organised - everything was ready just to be packed into a case and that could be done in another couple of weeks.

The babies had a different idea.   At 34 weeks and 2.00 a.m. my waters broke!   Absolute panic - this couldn't - this shouldn't be happening.   Oh how I wished I had my bag packed!   Although I wasn't experiencing any contractions I was 5 cm dilated when examined at the hospital, so it was decided to let labour go ahead.   At 6.00 a.m. I was given an epidural, however it was 11.40 a.m. before my first little girl - Chloe - was delivered weighing 4 lb 13 oz.   As I already had two boys, I was delighted to have a daughter and had to be reminded that there was another baby to follow!!

Judith arrived 11 minutes later weighing 4 lb 15 oz.   However, her breathing was a bit laboured.   I don't think I held the babies, they were taken and checked and when I next saw them they were side by side in the one incubator.   I was advised that they would both be going to the neonatal intensive care unit for observation and I should have a good rest.

I dozed on and off for the afternoon until suddenly reality hit me.   I had two beautiful girls and they were in intensive care and I had to see that they were alright.

I must admit I wasn't prepared for all the equipment, monitors, drips, wires and lines and although I am a nurse I found the whole thing quite frightening.   I had been so euphoric and now the cold light of day was showing a different picture.   Judith's breathing was causing concern although Chloe was well and I was allowed to hold and fed her.   I spent the rest of my time to-ing and fro-ing between incubators before being sent to bed for an exhausted sleep.

The next morning at 9 a.m., I was in the baby unit for the consultant's ward round.   Judith's condition had deteriorated and she was to be ventilated.   From then on I became a "lodger" in the postnatal ward.   My place was with the babies - and I had no babies up there!

As time progressed I became an expert at re-connecting monitors, knowing which bleeps to worry about, which alarms to ignore and so on.   Judith was ventilated for three days.   She had intravenous feeding and she didn't handle well so I wasn't able to hold her.   I felt guilty at giving Chloe all the attention.   I tried to remember every detail about each baby and felt bad if I couldn't remember which had the higher blood count or lower bilirubin!   I found it hard to share my time equally between babies and worried that I wouldn't 'bond' with Judith   the way I had with Chloe. The nursing staff were fantastic, very patient and supportive, encouraging me to just stand and stroke Judith.   After 10 days Chloe and I were being discharged and for the first time I had held and fed Judith.   I was glad to be going home, but so sorry to be leaving Judith behind, just as she was recovering.   For over one week I frequented the hospital 3-4 times a day to breastfeed Judith.   I felt she had missed out and now I needed to devote time to her.   I couldn't wait now to get her home - to put an end to being torn between two babies.   I wanted to get into a routine, to have my babies to myself and end this eternal rushing, to-ing and fro-ing!

At long last Judith was being discharged.   Now I could celebrate.   We were going home.   Our family was going to be complete and I could get on with getting to know my new daughters.   It was just over 3 weeks since they were born but it felt like a small lifetime!!

Ruth

Triplets + 1!

We wondered four years ago, what life would be like with one baby, but instead on 17th January 2002, we got our triplet daughters. Life completely took a major change for us. We struggled for the first 4 to 5 months but when the girls started spoon-feeding, the demand was manageable. The girls started to sleep through the night and slept for 2–3 hours twice a day. Things began to seem OK.

I remember thinking in late Spring 2002 ‘I think I might just survive this!!’ Survive I did, and at Parent& Toddler Group, I was the mum who was adamant that there would be no more Smyths. But lo and behold at the end of January 2004 I was feeling sick for over a week. My sister joked and said in passing “I’d laugh if you were pregnant!” This got me thinking!!! David brought home a pregnancy test, which I did and found that I was indeed pregnant. This was the last thing I planned. Perhaps when the girls were at school I might have considered it. We thought after the triplets that life would settle down for us but here started another year of major changes for us. The same week I discovered that I was pregnant, I was at a church mission and both David and myself put our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and got saved. I certainly was praying on the way for our first scan, as I was having great difficulty in getting used to the idea of another baby, and the thought of there being 2 or 3 babies was terrifying. Four children under the age of three was bad but four or five was ridiculous. Easter I went to the USA for my sister’s wedding leaving David and the girls for a whole 10 days and yes they did cope (even though David had to get his two sisters to move in and his mother also came in every day). I was still suffering with nausea, something that I didn’t experience with the triplets. In August David handed in his notice at his job of 20 years and on 1st September, he started his own business. Such a major decision with two and a half year old triplets, a baby on the way and a wife at home fulltime with no sight of being able to return to work.

Then on 10th October I was taken into hospital to be induced, as baby was 15 days overdue. We were hoping for a normal delivery so our consultant said he would allow me to go 10–14 days over, but with a combination of a bed shortage and the weekend approaching, the consultant let me go until day 15. On day 16 baby still did not want to make an appearance (I believe he had heard so much noise in our house, he was afraid to come out!!) David and I decided to have a C section. We tried to avoid this as with four young children to look after, we thought that I would recover from a normal delivery much quicker. So on 11th October I had a caesarean and gave birth to Caleb Alexander Smyth, weighing 7lb, 6oz.( perhaps having a son will help David in years to come when all those female hormones are racing in our house!)

I have to say I really was very surprised with this operation, totally different and much more ‘homely’ than the triplet C section. I also got out and about more quickly. The girls came in to see us twice in hospital, and they were very cool towards me. I did worry about them being jealous because everywhere they go they were used to being the centre of attention. Now I thought that they didn’t like the baby although they talked plenty about it before this. Thankfully, when we got home from the hospital, the girls were no problem and if anything will kill him with kindness and love. He gets more kisses and he just has to make a noise and there is a sudden uproar of “Lift Caleb out, he’s crying”. I think we’ve a spoilt boy on our hands!!

I said throughout the pregnancy that I would, for the baby’s sake, hope that it was a boy because the girls get so much attention when they are out and about, that a little sister would have no look-in with triplet sisters. My worries were confirmed as anytime we have been out, very few people acknowledge the baby as there is too much of the usual “How do you cope? Have they their own personalities?” (The best yet!!) type of questions, that they don’t even see Caleb. But hopefully all this will go over the head of our little boy and that he develops a strong personality of his own to counteract ‘triplet sister syndrome’. And to finish the year on a high note we had a big family Baptism for Caleb on Boxing Day, as this meant that David’s family wouldn’t have to travel from Scotland and England for another weekend as they were coming home for Christmas anyway. So all in all 2004 was a big year for us and we truly are blessed with our ‘little’ family. Caleb’s first months have passed much more quickly than the girls as he is already spoon feeding, teething etc. and with the girls these milestones seemed to take forever to reach but being busy with them has meant that we haven’t had the same time with Caleb. Life has certainly changed for us in four years, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

 Fiona

4 Under 4!

As you can imagine life with four children under four is eventful, hectic, stressful and exciting. I had two girls, one aged three and a half and the other one and a half, when my two boys arrived everyone said I had the ‘perfect family’. But what happens when you find out that everything is not quite as perfect as it first seems

Here is our story. I discovered I was carrying twins at twenty weeks - even though I was overjoyed I realised that with two babies comes increased risk of difficulties both with the pregnancy and the birth but despite it all William and David were born on Valentine’s day 2001 - two perfect baby boys. Once they had spent a few days in the baby unit - they were given the OK to go home

During the first few months it was noticeable that William was very different to his brother - quiet and undemanding. I also noticed that there were differences in their early development - i.e. David had started rolling over - attempting to sit up but William was always happy just to lie and kick, this raised concerns in the back of my mind that there could be some sort of problem with William. I had read all the books during my pregnancy - twins should be treated as individuals and not compared to each other etc so I tried to suppress my doubts and convince myself that the differences were solely due to their natural differences - after all no two children are alike!

However, I raised these thoughts with my Health Visitor at the boy’s seventh month assessment to get an objective viewpoint and she agreed that there could be a problem and so referred him to the Child Development Centre in Lurgan for assessment. But the next day William started having episodes or ‘fits’ where his arms and legs would jerk forward and his head would go in-between his arms repeatedly for varying amounts of time. I took him to his GP and she immediately referred him to hospital for observation. Tests were started and within days we had a diagnosis - William had suffered a lack of oxygen and blood in the womb and this had affected him in a similar way to that of a stroke -the left-hand side of his body was affected, he was also suffering from Infantile Spasms - a form of childhood epilepsy and he had a hearing problem.

William’s consultant stressed how serious the condition was and for the rest of his life he would have a lot of physical and mental difficulties. The immediate priority was to stabilise the Infantile Spasms as each fit experienced by William could be doing further damage to his brain. He was immediately started on an anti convulsant drug that was successful in stopping the fits within twenty-four hours. This medication would have to be taken twice a day for the foreseeable future to control the condition.

At this stage the doctors were unsure as to whether he would walk or talk. The outlook was very grim - non-one we talked to could give a definite prognosis. All we were told was that every case and every child is different and there was no way of telling how things would turn out. The professionals were unable to give us an indication of what things would be like for William in six months, two years or five years down the line - we had to take it day by day and week by week. The only glimmer of hope was that when I was talking to a nurse she said that she had worked in the Child Development Clinic and there was a little boy there that had suffered something similar to William and the only thing noticeable about him was that he walked with a slight limp and he attended a mainstream school. This was a small innocent comment but it gave me a glimmer of hope to hang onto - there was light at the end of the tunnel.

All I wanted was some sort of indication of what the prognosis spectrum was - the worst and best case scenarios but no one could commit at this stage to give me an answer. It is understandable as the professionals just didn’t know what the future held for William and were unwilling to give us false hope.

Once William left hospital the plan of action for his future development was put in place through the Child Development Centre in Lurgan - he would received physiotherapy, occupational and speech therapy on a regular basis to try and encourage ‘normal’ use of the left side of his body and this would form part of his life for a long time to come. The early days of William’s diagnosis was full of appointments with specialists, scans etc - every aspect of his health was looked at and continues to be monitored on a regular basis.

As a result of the early intervention William has and continues to receive I am pleased to say that William has developed way beyond our initial wildest dreams and even seems to have amazed the professionals. When he goes to see a new consultant they have to check their notes because from what they have read on his file does not match up to the child they see before them.

William’s Infantile Spasms were controlled with drugs for about one year and then he was weaned off his medication and has been ‘fit free’ without medication for about eighteen months. There is always a chance that a further epileptic situation will develop but we shall wait and see. At almost three years old now he is walking, running and trying his best to keep up with his twin brother. Things he needs two hands to do like dressing, playing with Lego, even eating a bag of crisps still causes him some difficulty but he ingeniously usually finds a way of doing and getting where he wants

I work part time and both William and David were cared for by a wonderful childminder until recently when they started in a day nursery where William mixes well with other children and is developing at an outstanding rate. Each day he amazes me with that he has achieved in his short life. Next year my ‘babies’ will start nursery and a whole new set of challenges will have to be faced but we will all meet them head on and take one day at a time.

This is the story of William so far but there is more than just William to consider in all of this - there is of course David his twin and his two older sisters who lives are affected by William’s special needs. As William needs a lot of extra attention it is always difficult finding time to do his exercises, stimulating his left side etc when you have another child the same age competing for your attention and trying everything to get the focus switched to him instead of his brother. As David has become older he has begun to understand more and I always try to make some time to spend with each child but in reality these times are few and far between

I don’t know about how other parents in a similar situation feel with a child with special needs but I was constantly thinking that I should be doing more to help him - more exercises, more time, more of every thing to give him a better chance in life. Alternative medicine of varying kinds - we have tried it all and wondered if I had the time to spend on him alone would it make a difference to his development

Looking back - I see that his sisters and especially his brother played a big part in encouraging his development. David was a source of inspiration and frustration to William. William looks up to his brother and wanted to do everything that he did so badly that his drive and determination very evident to all he met. At times his frustration got the better of him and he did take a lot of this out against David and William went through a stage of biting him quite viciously. We tried to ignore this behaviour as much as we could - although I find this one of the hardest things to do and as William became more mobile this behaviour gradually faded away.

David is aware of William’s special needs but this however does not stand in the way of him getting what he wants - there are no special needs between brothers and sisters and no allowances are made on the basis of ability when the goal is Thomas the Tank engine, balls, lego or indeed anything the other one has. Identical toys are abundance in our house but somehow they know which one is heir's and well dare you give their toy to the other or all hell will break lose even though to your eye there is no difference!!

William knows how to stand up for himself and to stand his ground in a fight - he may only have one arm that works properly but he has a mean right hook and have legs will kick. I have always worried that Williams's problems would make him a targeting for bullying later on in school life but at the minute any sign of trouble and David is at his side - but the same also applies for David - you never fight with just one both of them get in on the action.

William has developed his social skills alongside his twin and when it comes to interacting with other children and adults he is on a par with him - in fact William is usually more forward and talkative as he is more used to meeting strangers and being in unfamiliar surroundings due to his many hospital appointments.

From my point of view any parent of twins or more is conscious of dividing their attention equally between their children to avoid favouritism - I have found this especially hast as William needs so much more attention and I find myself nearly over compensating David for what time I perceive his misses out on. As a result of this I feel David clings more to me and would come and seek me out to talk to etc rather than playing with the others.

Life throws all sorts of obstacles in front of them and we just deal with them as best we can - things are getting easier now the boys are three - I feel I have stopped climbing the hill and I’m back on the level again - people tell me there is worse to come but at the minute I am living in denial and don’t believe them!!!

Linda

The Difference...

What a lovely birthday present - to be told that I was going to be the mother of twins!   I'd been confined to bed for the previous two weeks with what I was told was a threatening miscarriage.   As I was only 8 weeks the hospital wouldn't scan me until my tenth week.   The thought of ever bearing twins never even entered my head.

At that stage my husband Dominic and I lived in Tunbridge Wells Kent.   My closest relations were living 70 miles away in North London.   After the initial feeling of relief that everything was OK - shock of carrying two, my emotions turned to panic.   How would I cope?

Thankfully I had a great community midwife.   At my booking-in appointment she gave me the address and telephone number of the local Twins Club.   It took me a couple of weeks to muster the courage to say to this complete stranger - "Hello, you don't know me but I am expecting twins"!     Like all good secretaries she was extremely helpful and sent me out my information pack.

Although I did not attend any meetings or social gatherings before my twins were born I was regularly on the phone to them.   With their guidance I discovered the shops which gave TAMBA discount - a godsend when you're starting out with two of everything.

At 36 weeks Siobhan and John were born.   My in-laws came over for the first week and then my own mum came for 5 weeks to help me.   All too soon I was left "on my own" trying to cope with my bundles of joy!

I quickly adapted to the practicalities of managing two on my own, but I needed reassurance that I was doing it OK.   When John and Siobhan were 10 weeks old I started going to the meetings.   Basically all we   did was get together and swop stories about the different stages of development our children were at.   I found that both talking and listening to other people's experiences did help me cope.

When my two were about 1 year old our club set up a "Help a Mum" Scheme.   This was where a mother of older school age twins (and who had time to spare!) became like a helper to a mother of baby/toddler twins.

My helper would come round for a couple of hours maybe once or twice a week depending on the need.   If I wanted I could go to the shops alone, go to bed and catch up on some sleep or do whatever.   I found this invaluable.   It was great having someone on hand to compare notes with and having someone who didn't panic if the two of them cried at the same time!

We returned to Northern Ireland approximately two years ago and I was surprised that TAMBA has not yet such a high profile here.   However, things seem to be definitely changing and hopefully before long when you mention TAMBA, people won't say, "What's that"!

Roisin

My Birth Story—Emergency Caesarean

At 9 weeks pregnant, my midwife visited to take some details.“Any twins in the family?” she asked. “None” I replied confidently. “Anyway” she said you’d be much sicker than this if you were expecting twins”. Famous last words! 2 weeks later I was having a scan and looking at 2 tiny heartbeats. My reaction was one of shock, disbelief and slight hysteria (laughing and crying in turn).

My pregnancy progressed smoothly, although it was exhausting both working part-time and looking after my 2 year old son. I wore maternity clothes at 14 weeks and quickly resembled the proverbial beached whale. Work colleagues kept asking when I was due to finish, worried, no doubt, that I might give birth on the office floor! Scans showed that the non-identical babies were growing well and my consultant recommended giving me steroid injections from 24 weeks to mature the babies lungs in case of premature labour. Looking back, I was very grateful to have had these injections. At 33 weeks, my waters broke at home and I phoned the hospital to be told to come in straight away. I was told that I would have to stay in hospital until the babies were born because of the risk of infection. Despite the reassurances of the staff, I was really worried about what condition they would be in if they were born so early.

That evening, I felt increasingly painful contractions and was moved to the delivery suite at 3 AM. I was given an epidural, which relieved most of the pain but as time progressed the midwives were becoming concerned about the second twin’s heartbeat which was dropping. A consultant was called and she recommended a caesarean, as I wasn’t dilating quickly enough. Meanwhile the epidural seemed to be working on one side only and, with one eye on the foetal monitors, I was told I would need to have a general anaesthetic as they needed to get the second twin out quickly.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room with my husband by my side. My babies were born at 6.26 and 6.27 AM, weighing in at 5 lbs 13 and 5 lbs 11 respectively. Not bad weights for 33 weeks! Joshua (twin 1) was in excellent condition but Sam (twin 2)   had needed resuscitation for 2 minutes before he breathed alone. I was quite glad not to have witnessed this. The babies had been moved to the Special Care Unit for monitoring and I was given photos of them. Having had a normal delivery with Andrew I felt a bit cheated this time round.

I eventually got to see the boys later that morning and it was a very emotional moment when Andrew met his little brothers. The staff in Special Care were excellent, and explained what all the tubes and wires were for. The boys remained there for 4 days then joined me on the ward. At first they were tube fed a mixture of formula and my expressed milk. I had planned to breastfeed, however, my milk supply was poor, and I switched to bottle feeding after 10 days as the babies were not gaining weight. We left hospital after 14 days and then the fun really began!

The boys are 20 months now—happy and healthy. Hard work but definitely worth it

Heather  

A Short but Memorable Spell in a Special Care Unit

I found out I was expecting twins at my 20 weeks scan. My two year old son Aaron and husband Johnny were with me at the time. Aaron just kept on saying “two babies, two babies” and Johnny just sat there like a fish with his mouth hanging open! I giggled to myself all afternoon and then went home that night and cried my eyes out. I then pulled out all the books I was given when you are first pregnant to see what they had to say about twins and was very disappointed as all they gave was one paragraph about nothing. Although I had been through a pregnancy before, I honestly did not know how different it would be this time around.

It took me a week to pluck up the courage to ring Tamba. It was then I spoke to Hilary. She was the first person who said “congratulations” and meant it. It was then I was able to get hold of a Tamba Publication List and Hilary recommended two books to read. They were like my bible throughout my pregnancy.

I had a brilliant pregnancy and really enjoyed all the fuss and being seen by somebody out of the medical profession about every two weeks. It was lovely to see how the babies were developing when I got scanned every four weeks.

I went for my routine scan at 35 weeks and they told me they were about 5.5 lbs in weight and both heads were down. It was then they showed me around the delivery ward in the hospital and I met the staff who kept me going that I would have to have the babies by the end of the week. So I told them I would go home and bounce on the bed a few times!!

I couldn’t believe it when my pains started at 2.30 am the next morning! I went downstairs and sat on the edge of the sofa and did my deep breathing and watched some television. I woke my husband up at 6.00 am and told him that things had started. We arrived at the hospital at 7.15 am.

Gemma was born at 8.22 am weighing 5 lbs 13.5 oz and Beth arrived 18 minutes later weighing 5 lbs 12.5 oz. It was so fast I could not have complained at all.

The girls were grunting when they were born and having been checked by a paediatrician were admitted to the Special Care Baby Unit. The babies could not suck to feed so they were tube fed. There were bleeping machines going off everywhere – it was quite frightening. The staff were brilliant – encouraging me to express my milk and showing me how to bath the girls.

It was a traumatic experience having to leave hospital and go home without the babies. Once they were on feeds for 48 hours they were allowed to go home.

Now the girls are 10 months old and two completely different characters. It is a lot of hard work but I wouldn’t change anything for the world. I don’t know what I would have done without the enormous amount of help from both sets of grandparents – thank you to them for their support.

Jill  

The First Year With Quads

August 1996 I gave birth to my two boys and two girls. I realised from this point on that my life would never be the same again. When I left hospital the babies were still in the baby unit, so I travelled the one hour journey down and home again every day. This I found very draining, so I was delighted when the hospital told me the two boys were able to come home.

I thought it might be a bit easier but it wasn’t because with the girls still in the unit I had to try and divide myself between home and hospital. There was also the great expense of buying everything for four babies, eg. 4 Moses baskets, carrytots, feeding equipment, prams and when it came down to buying clothes it was four of everything. As the babies get bigger the expense doesn’t get any better because you can’t hand down clothes from one to another and you need to buy four new sets of clothes at the same time.

When all the babies were home from hospital I thought I would never cope but after a couple of days with them all at home I just got stuck in. At the start I had help and you certainly need every pair of hands you can get because there is so much to be done. The washing machine never stops. I was lucky to have my mother, sister and sister-in-law close by to give my husband and I a hand – even so, there was never much time for rest.

Another thing I found a problem was the car – we couldn’t all fit in together. We had to change it and then when you did go anywhere the time it took to get everybody ready, into their car seats and then into the car it was nearly time to come home, never mind the amount of things you need to take with you, you would think you were going on holiday. When the good days were here I couldn’t just put on my coat and take the kids out for a walk because I always need someone else to push the other pram.

Tasks that mothers take for granted like feeding their baby I have to do four times over. To cut 40 wriggling fingers and toes can be a day’s work on its own. Now that the kids are getting older it gets easier in some ways but you can’t take your eyes off them for one minute or you would never know where one might have gone to. The best part of my day, in our house, is 7.30 pm when all are in bed fast asleep and I assure you I am never far behind them but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Shirley

Breastfeeding

I breast fed my twin boys for 4 months.   Not easy with an extremely active 20 month old daughter around.

Best Laugh - During a birthday party I was feeding both babies and felt very thirsty.   The hostess brought me a drink and left me to it.   How could I drink with no hands?!

- Feeding one baby - second baby was sick over all three of us.   All three of us stripped naked when older sister has a breath holding attack.   Find myself at front door holding daughter in air to bring her round, dressed only in my knickers, thankful that our neighbours were at work!!!

Karen

The Joys of Breastfeeding Twins

Before I had the twins I had successfully breastfed my two older children - Robert now 9.5 years old for 7 months and Victoria now 7 years old for 4 months (her decision, not mine!!)   So I had no doubts that I would have enough mild for two.   When I found out that I was expecting twins (at nine weeks) I contacted the Twins Club to find out what books and leaflets they had on breastfeeding twins.

At 37 weeks I was admitted to hospital for bedrest as I had problems with a badly swollen leg.   This meant I was getting plenty of badly needed rest before the twins arrived.   A caesarean section was arranged for Friday 18th November.   On Tuesday evening, 15th November 1994 the twins decided the time had come to enter the world as I stood up after my "gourmet" hospital tea.   I thought I had mistimed my visit to the toilet but much to my surprise my waters had broken.   This was 6 pm, by 8.04/8.05 our baby daughters were born.   I had a spinal anaesthetic which was very successful.   Once the babies had been checked and cleaned up I was back on the ward.   One of the nurses brought the girls to me and helped me to start feeding them.   At this stage, because I was still a bit immobile because of the caesarean and the spinal, I just fed one baby at a time while lying on my side.   The nurse was very helpful even though she knew I had breastfed before.   Good support from nursing staff at this early stage is essential to the success of breastfeeding twins.   If you feel you are not getting this support, then make this known to the nurse in charge and explain the problem.   During the following days in hospital I quickly learned how to feed the girls at the same time (quite a feat when they were so small as they needed propped up on pillows, towels and whatever else came to hand to keep them up at the right level to feed comfortably).

.Both Julia and Alexandra were good feeders and fed every three hours.   They also had   their own side, so saved me having to worry about who fed where last!   It is so important to feed them on demand and not to supplement them with a bottle of formula or water.   The more you feed them the more your supply of milk improves.

The technique of feeding twins simultaneously is different for everyone.   The one which worked best for me was having the girls heads together with their feet under my arms.   You may have to experiment (with the help of the books mentioned later) to get the right position for you.   Some mums prefer to feed their twins separately which is fine if you have the time but with two older children time was of the essence for me.

The most useful piece of equipment during this time was a v-pillow on which the babies lay while feeding, leaving my hands free.   the most important advantage I learned from breastfeeding my twins was confidence.   I know that what I was doing was good for the babies and good for me.   Make sure that if you breastfeed twins that you eat and drink plenty.   I was amazed at how hungry and thirsty I was but you must be careful to ear nutritious food and not junk food.   Even though you are eating a lot more, if you eat the "right stuff" your weight will be back to pre-pregnancy level (or below) very soon - one great advantage of breastfeeding.

Holidays with Multiples

Travelling With Twins...

My boys Karl and Jason were born on 18th July this year. They are now 3 months old and were born at 37 weeks.

My pregnancy was very good although towards the end I was very tired and everything became an effort. I couldn't wait to have my babies, not just to see them safely into the work but to try to get back to normal physically. I felt that I had been pregnant for ever and if I'd have gone on for any longer I wouldn't have been able to wear maternity clothes.

The labour was long and exhausting, so eventually I had an epidural. Karl was born first and Jason 13 minutes later weighing 5 lb 10 oz and 5 lb 4 oz. Both babies were fit and well and we spent three days in Craigavon Area Hospital

Before the children were born I had made the decision not to breastfeed when we got home. I just wanted to give them the colostrum. With my first child I found breastfeeding a nightmare and only managed to feed him 2 weeks, but after a very supportive midwife and supportive husband I carried on feeding for nine weeks. I am very glad that I did this and felt very proud of myself.

When the children were just 5 days old I was determined to go out for a walk. The weather was not too good so we wrapped up well and all went out. On this occasion we didn't attract too much attention as it was a Sunday and we didn't go very far. This was not to be the case a few days later when we took them into town.

It seemed as though everybody stopped us to ask the usual questions. How old are they? What do they weigh? Are they good, etc? It was wonderful to be proud parents and sharing this with everybody else. Unfortunately, after a while I began to feel that I was on show too and you always feel that you should make the effort to stop and talk and offer information to them. There is no such thing as popping into town now.

Everything takes twice as long. It is quite an effort getting out and about in the first place. I really felt that I just wanted to do what was needed and get home in time for the next feed. Now I know we will be stopped when we go out, so I am much more relaxed about it and enjoy being the proud parent again.

As well as the normal worries that you have when you are pregnant, I was also concerned how my eldest child would be. Sam is now 7 years old and has been the "apple of my eye" for a long time. He is still at an age where he has different kinds of needs and I thought it may be difficult to juggle taking care of all of them. I didn't want him to suffer and I worried about how he would react to taking a back seat after all this time. To my delight, I have found that Sam adores his little brothers which is half the battle won and I find that the time we can spend together (just the two of us) is much more special than before because I focus on him totally. It is worth the effort just to stop and look at some of the things he makes with his Lego or a picture he has drawn because the washing up and the vacuuming can be done later and it makes me feel better for doing this.

Very soon we are all going away to visit family in England. We made the decision to fly over because our car is very small and we wouldn't fit everything in (just the babies buggy, this is how small it is). In a way I am looking forward to this journey. When I say this to people they think I am mad. It will be interesting to see if the boys like travel. Sam was, and still is, a very good traveller and I think this is due to starting at a young age but will my little sweethearts be just as good or will I be pulling my hair out and snapping at everybody by the end of the journey?

Sharon

Holiday Fun in the Lake District

In the summer of 1998, we bravely decided to take the children on holiday ourselves, since the year before we had cunningly asked "the mothers" to accompany us (what bliss - built-in  babysitters).   We decided to visit a place called Oasis in the Lake District. It is a holiday village with lots of chalets built in the forest and all centered round the village centre which consisted of a large dome covered swimming pool and lots of shops and restaurants.  

We travelled on the Larne-Stranraer ferry which went very well (i.e. no one was sick!) and then drove to the Lake District with one stop on the way at a Little Chef (highly recommended).   On arrival we were allowed to drive the car to the chalet to unload but after that it stays in the car park because the only modes of transport allowed in the village are bicycles or (tired) feet.

The chalet was clean and tidy and yes they had provided us with two cots and highchairs so no problem there.   The bicycles had little trailers attached to them which held two small children in comfort so getting around was easy but exhausting.

The main attractions were the large enclosed swimming pools, so no matter what the weather was like there was always something to do.   Changing the children into their swimming costumes was no problem either since the changing areas were unisex.   We didn't have to split up and there were family changing cabins, providing enough room for everyone.

The swimming pools were fantastic, ranging from the small well heated baby pools and the slides, to the scary rapids and flumes.   The children were very happy and could stay there for hours.   It also meant they were exhausted at night so it was early to bed for them all!!

The complex also had a very well run creche, which was well staffed and had a large indoor and outdoor play area where the children could be booked in for half or whole days.

A large selection of child friendly restaurants and shops providing the essentials rounded off a very successful holiday.   Everyone came home happy, even if the parents were a bit exhausted after all that cycling!

Helen

Triple Trouble on Holiday

After years of waiting for a family my husband Gary and I were delighted upon the birth of our three boys Jonathan, Christopher and Matthew on 25th June 1996. My pregnancy was a result of our fourth IVF treatment. After the longest 34 weeks and 5 days of our lives our three healthy boys were born by caesarean section in the Royal Maternity Hospital Belfast

Although our boys were blessed with good health, from about 6 months they became very hard to settle in the evening. They were even harder to settle during the middle of the night when the two of them would have woken up screaming. Our Health Visitor’s advice was to bring them into bed. This we found, to our cost, was a very bad decision. So, by the time the boys were nine months old, I was at the end of my tether and run off my feet! I thought it was a good idea to start thinking about a summer holiday.

We planned to visit Eastbourne, one of our favourite places and also home to a great aunt and uncle of ours.

We decided to travel by car and ferry but we never imagined what we had undertaken. When it was time for Gary to drive on to the ferry the car just wouldn’t start. The battery had gone flat. Everyone else boarded while my mum and I were left with three hungry boys. With only minutes to spare a lovely AA man persuaded the ferry personnel to give us a tow in the hope of jump starting the car. It worked and we were able to board at last.

The ferry crossing went well, however, we were hardly 5 minutes from Stranraer when Jonathan decided to throw up! We had to stop at the side of the road and strip the poor little thing and clean him and the car as well as we could under the circumstances. After travelling on a few more miles I noticed that Matthew looked a little peculiar - deciding not to be outdone by his brother he also threw up!

Despite our hold-ups, we arrived in Liverpool around 11.30 pm and checked into our hotel. We had confirmed our booking to ensure that we would be provided with three cots but, yes you’ve guessed, this had been overlooked and all available cots were already in use. After someone was despatched to the storeroom, at almost midnight, we were given one old worn and ancient cot for three very tired little boys who did not even sleep in the same room together at home!

The next morning we felt better and headed off as scheduled for Eastbourne using a map from the AA.   I can remember joining the M6 and a signpost  reading Birmingham 100 miles at around 9.00 am and then the route suddenly took us off the motorway and along congested roads.   We tried to get  ourselves back on to the M6 and disregard what turned out to be a thoroughly confusing AA route.   After lunch we found our way back on the M6 and as we joined, the signpost read Birmingham 50 miles!   We were absolutely furious!!   We had wasted the whole morning  driving around the countryside.

It was close to the boys' tea time as we got as far as Gatwick Airport on the M25.   Things were starting to look up for tea when disaster struck again.   As we headed for Brighton a taxi driver was waving for us to pull over - we discovered we had a flat tyre!   Luckily the taxi driver was kind enough to pull over and offered help.   I was just about at breaking point.   We were in the middle of rush hour motorway traffic, in a car filled to capacity, three screaming hungry one year olds who had been trapped in their car seats for far too long with a flat type!!

We eventually did make it to Auntie Olive and Uncle George's for tea.   The next two weeks were glorious in Eastbourne.   We spent some time with our family and enjoyed lots of good seaside air and picnics.   In fact, during the holiday Jonathan and Matthew started to walk.

Gary complained to the AA who provided us with a revised route so our return journey went much more smoothly.

So, although everyone thought we were mad taking the boys on such a long journey which did turn out to be disastrous, we all had a splendid time in Eastbourne and have fond memories of the holiday itself.

At the time we thought we would never travel again until the boys were at least ten but we have decided to have another try this year. We are not attempting Eastbourne again – we are only going as far as Blackpool

I am sure we are like most other parents of multiples in that we do not give up easily on anything and we are optimistic that we will have a much less stressful trip this year.

Barbara

Best Holiday / Worst Holiday

Best - Aug. 2001, 5 days camping in Westport

Patrick and Jack - almost 3 Tara- 4 and a half Mum and Dad- feeling 90.

This should have been our worst!

Five of us in a 4 man tent (and that would have been pushing it) with no cooking facilities. Pouring rain for the previous fortnight.   Before we even had the tent out of the car Jack fell and cut his knee to the bone, we couldn't find the hospital but did find an empty ambulance whose extremely kind driver ferried us there- sirens blazing much to Jack's delight!

Hospital staff were excellent and treated Jack straight away. Campsite manager offered us the use of a 3 wheeler double buggy, which the boys would not entertain (they're seasoned walkers!)We ate out a lot, there was a McDonalds nearby and plenty of chip shops the campsite had a very simple breakfast "bar".

Didn't have to worry about mucky feet, clothes, etc. and you know how kids love that!! We had no light in our tent and no other hope of entertainment (ahem!) so were all in bed and asleep by 10ish- very refreshing!!The weather was fairly warm and sunny so we spent a lot of time on various pretty beaches, digging sandcastles and reading with the odd picnic- crisps, fruit and don't forget the corkscrew!

Worst - October 1998   5 days in Newcastle-upon-Tyne

 Patrick and Jack - 3 months. Left Tara (23 months) at home with Granny and

Grandad.

We thought this would be easy!!

Staying with a friend who was a paediatric doctor. Had spent the previous month in hospital with the boys and was in desperate need of a change of scenery.

Babies were constantly sick (as in projectile), mostly over me as I was breastfeeding. No tumble drier and the washing machine couldn't keep up. Ran out of clothes for me and was in no mood for a shopping spree!! No sleep- I don't know why I thought this would be any different from home??? Both of us were too tired to enjoy time with our friends.

They couldn't understand why a meal they had slaved over was ignored when 2 babies needed breastfed together.   The sheer awkwardness of breastfeeding 2 babies in public.

To cap it all, in the middle of the last night we discovered Patrick had a second hernia. We had been assured that he wouldn't get another one and so had to make an emergency dash back to Children's in Belfast as surgery in Newcastle would mean another week there!!

It's not that bad - we're actually going Eurocamping to France for 3 weeks this summer- send your silent prayers!

Karen

The Best ...The Worst…Best Moment: Holding the babies for the first two hours after they were born and being wheeled back to the ward from the Delivery Suite, to the gasps of delight from everyone passing by.

Worst Moment: One hour later, when I was told they would need to be taken to the Special Care Baby Unit as they were having breathing difficulties.

Most Useful Equipment: Two highchairs which I still use.   I dread when the boys outgrow them (imminent) - as many meals would never have been made or eaten without these and the all important Teletubby video

Most Useless Equipment: Two baby bouncers which attach to the doorframe.   It took me longer to secure and attach both boys than the actual time they were happy to stay in them.

Handy Hint: Do accept all offers of help.   It can be tempting to try to be too independent but if help is available it does make life easier, particularly in the early days.

Comment from Dad: Being an only child, it's great for me to see the interaction between Jamie and Jonathan and indeed Jade.   It is hard work but I am enjoying it although a good night's sleep would be very welcome.

Julie and Eddie

Best Moment: Apart from the birth!   We would both agree it has got to be when you get hugged back.

Worst Moment: Anytime the kids are sick.   One bad incident was when Emily had to be admitted to hospital overnight with a rash - worried about meningitis.

Most Useful Equipment: 2 wipeable relax/rocker chairs with trays were a Godsend from birth.   Great for feeding both at once, bottle or solids, playing with toys and sleeping

Most Useless Equipment: Perhaps not the worst but certainly the least used in our case was the play pen.   They didn't like being in it even when they were smaller

Emily was a very windy baby.   I was given this tip from a friend's mum.   After bottle feeding, lie the baby flat for about three minutes.   Once picked up they should burp.   It worked for us nearly every time

Comment from Dad: The best form of value Dads can add is assistance, physical and mental.   Participation in the "team effort" will bring much greater reward.   The only thing dads can't do is breastfeed but even then you can help your partner with "doubling up"!!

Janice and Peter